Posted by: valleybrunette | March 24, 2010

I Am a Secret Eater

For those who don’t know “Secret Eaters” are those people who only eat salads at dinner and then binge when they get home or claim that they NEVER EVER diet. Okay, so it’s a term that I mainly came up with to describe a roommate from college who was overweight but absolutely refused to eat anything but lettuce in front of men.

It is my eternal shame that I realized today that I’m a secret eater. See, I typically eat my dinner around 4:30p so that by the time I go to boxing training my food has processed and I won’t faint. Today, I find myself in my darkened office, jumping at any indication that someone will come into the room and discover me eating. Just eating. Nothing out of the ordinary. I don’t want to be caught. I feel as if I’m going to be judged for eating.

This is not good.

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Posted by: valleybrunette | March 24, 2010

Self Control

I have none. Absolutely none. You need evidence?

Exhibit A: Tonight’s dinner scenario. We’re doing a fundraiser at a local restaurant so I decide today will be my cheat day so I allow myself a hamburger and fries. All goes well. In fact, I don’t even finish the fries and leave a decidedly not clean plate. Then I get home and what do I find? My absolute FAVORITE food waiting to be consumed. So what do I do? I eat a second dinner. Yes, I could not convince myself to just wait until tomorrow night. I force down another serving of food. Not even reasoning that this is cheat day so it’s ok. I just have no impulse control.

Obviously, this is a MAJOR problem on my weight loss journey. 

Tomorrow is a new day (and a workout day at that) so I”m hoping to work off at least a small portion of the calories consumed today. And I wonder why I can’t lose these pounds….

Posted by: valleybrunette | March 20, 2010

Being Conventional

Being conventional has not served me well. So I’m saying screw convention! This little blip of enlightenment came to me during boxing training today. My trainer was giving me tips on things I can do outside the gym to help my weight loss goals. He mentioned forgetting about having structured meals. He even recommended merely eating half my lunch and then eating the rest later. A lightbulb went off! So much of how I see food and treat food is from how I was raised. I can still hear my grandma’s voice in my head “Just one more bite.” Inevitably she just wanted me to finish everything on my plate. Because of this I am a card holding member of the clean plate club. Obviously something needs to change and it changes now.

Posted by: valleybrunette | March 17, 2010

The Nitty Gritty

Boxing has been AMAZING! It tires me out, works all my muscles, and I look forward to each session. My trainer has started giving me advice about other lifestyle changes. I’m attempting to be better about my diet which today is VERY hard to deal with. I am having massive cravings for savory snacks and unfortunately only packed sweets (even my veggies are sweet today). I gave in and had a bag of Cheetos but I REALLY want to get to my back of sweet potato chips.

Either way, I have decided to treat myself to a luscious dinner of corned beef sandwich to keep in St. Paddy’s Day theme. And luckily, there is a great deli on my way home from training tonight. I just have to be strong and hold out til then!

Posted by: valleybrunette | March 8, 2010

Something New

My membership to the gym is officially over. I enjoyed it a lot and may return once I’ve explored all the different options I’m interested in. This month I’m going to start boxing. After my trial workout I found it very exhilarating. Plus, with all the tension from work and knowing that I will soon be immersing myself in schoolwork I think now is a great time to start working out all my aggression. The trainer has been really helpful so far and I like that he is letting me borrow a pair of gloves for my first month so I won’t have to buy gloves and potentially not use them.

Things have been moving very quickly since I got my acceptance letter to USC. I’ve just completed my Intent to Enroll and have started making the necessary adjustments to my schedule or the upcoming months. I’m looking into possibly changing my work schedule to allow myself the time I need to get my work done and still get enough rest.

S and I have been planning our big vacation. Since I have to take some time off work for school I’ve had to adjust the plans a bit but I’m still happy with what we’ll be doing. We’re going to spend a few days at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico. I can’t wait to get out-of-town and just RELAX! I’m in desperate need of this time to myself.

Posted by: valleybrunette | February 24, 2010

All In One Update

Ok so I”m back to my original measurements of 47, 43.5, 52. I am definitely happy about that! I’ve totally been slacking off and I certainly hope that this year’s Lent resolution is going to help me with that.

Speaking of my resolution I have decided to not renew my membership at my current gym and I’m going to venture into boxing! I’m so excited to try it out seriously especially since I had such an amazing workout at my trial run. The trainer is great and I didn’t feel stupid at all during the session. It is a bit costlier than the current gym but I think that it will keep me more motivated since I have to go on specific days.

And my best news this year? I got into USC! I’m finally going after my MSW =) I’ll be starting this August and have already gotten some of the dates for the orientation events. The only down side is that I need to cancel my cruise but we’re going to do an all-inclusive trip instead. !!!!!!!

I didn’t realize how much I wanted this until I got my acceptance letter. The elation, joy, fulfillment and I haven’t even started yet. Looks like 2010 is going to be a good year.

Posted by: valleybrunette | February 16, 2010

Lent

Somehow I’ve reached another Lent season. I pondered long and hard about what to give up this year. I’ve already made some significant changes in my life to get healthy so I’m trying to keep within that theme. So my Lenten resolution this year is to stop making excuses. Stop making excuses of why I’m too tired, too fat, too whatever to get out there and live my life to the fullest. I constantly catch myself telling people that life is too short and I think it’s high time that I take my own advice. Life IS too short to sit around waiting for the ideal situation to come along. I’m 26 years old now and when I look back on my life I don’t see any real substance. Sure, every day I give back to people through my job but outside of that I don’t have as many great memories to share as I’d like. I’m also holding myself back by continuing to not take care of my body in the way that it deserves. I’m enjoying taking on the new challenge 😉

Posted by: valleybrunette | February 16, 2010

Love Hangover

Valentine’s Day has come and gone. I have to say that my idea for the muffins went over well with J even if I had trouble with the making of them. It seems that carving little hearts into muffins is a lot tougher than I anticipated. Also, I ran into a small problem of not having an electric mixer to make my cream cheese frosting. But, as I said, J found the gift thoughtful and couldn’t wait to dig into them for breakfast. Though, I will admit that I tasted a muffin and they weren’t really all that great. Edible sure but I wouldn’t go back for another. I guess love can overlook even bad baking.

February has been a tough month for me. I gained back some of the inches I lost in January so I’ve been feeling discouraged. I find that these setbacks really affect my motivation. I need to get past this because it just makes moving forward even harder. Though, I am proud to say that even on my day off I took myself down to the gym and had an AMAZING workout. I feel sore in my tough to reach muscles so I’m considering today a rest day.

I also got an interesting call yesterday. N is coming back to California. It seems she has tired of all the drama that comes with her boyfriend du jour. I’m glad that she is coming back. I have to admit that I have really been missing her. Hopefully, she sticks around long enough to patch up our friendship. It sounds as if we’re making headway too. She’s invited me out to get drinks. I’ve already said yes so I’m hoping it all works out.

Posted by: valleybrunette | February 7, 2010

Feeling Uninspired

I’ve been struggling with writing this second Personal Statement for school. And after reading the original one i sent out I’m devastated at how  uninspired that one reads also. I bored myself! I didn’t even want to finish reading it. God, I hope my original message came through. I have to remind myself that it was the best I could do considering that I lost over half of the original essay. I still can’t believe I did that! I’m hoping Michael Buble can inspire me to greatness tonight.

Posted by: valleybrunette | February 1, 2010

Monday Weigh In

So final results on the first month of the new fitness plan!

Weight 246 B 46 W43 H 52

I was able to lose and maintain the loss of 4 pounds. Go me!

I’m hoping to continue this kind of progress throughout February but I can already tell it will be a struggle. It’s a hectic month and just this week I have to make sure I stay on my plan so I don’t get off track again.

Also, I don’t know if it’s because I’m shedding pounds or what might be going on but I’ve been having these crazy dreams. Mostly, they are about my guilty feelings or letting people down. The one thing I always remember is how emotionally traumatizing they are for me. There’s so much going on in my life right now that I don’t know what might be triggering the dreams.

And on a final note… I’m learning to crochet! I butchered a blanket this weekend which I’m really proud of (even if it is a VERY odd shape). But it’s going to Brownie so she doesn’t care if it’s perfect!

Anywho, I hope everyone had a great weekend!

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