Posted by: valleybrunette | November 15, 2009

We’re just friends… with benefits

I am an over-thinker. Maybe it’s because of my overactive Cancer nature. Maybe it’s because of the society I was brought up in. Or maybe it’s all those rom-coms that I love. Either way, I always analyze the junk out of everything man related.

This year’s flavor du jour has been J. Well, to be honest, he’s been the flavor du jour for the past 5 years with a summer break last year. And ok, it’s been fun. And I’ve always considered him to be out of my league in the looks department. But I can’t help the fact that dammit I’ve got feelings for him. Of course, during the set up of our arrangement he made it VERY clear that he only wanted to be friends “no strings”. I’m not sure if I’m in love with him. But I know that i do love him. I enjoy the fact that I don’t have to be “on” when I’m around him. His Aries personality takes care of approximately 85% of our conversation. I have been beginning to wonder though… are we even really friends?

To break it down: We see each other about once a week (it was twice while I was living closer) and we’ve stopped going out to meals together. Generally, we watch TV or a movie for a couple hours, have sex, go to sleep and leave the next morning. There is some talking mostly about his work and fantasy football team. Though, for some reason, whenever I do talk about work or my life I always feel as if all my stuff is insignificant. So I stopped talking about my stuff.

And to be quite honest the benefits department of this arrangement have been lacking. I think we’ve lost the spark. Or at the very least he is in need of a little blue pill because he’s just not getting it up as often. I think we literally went 4 weeks in a row without sex. We continued to meet up but he couldn’t keep it up for the main event.

So the question I have been asking myself is that if we’re not friends and the benefits seem to be disappearing why am I still stuck on this man? Outside of having to re-learn sex with someone else what is it that is holding me back from finding a new friend with benefits? And what do I do about these damn feelings I have for him?

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Responses

  1. Sry for commenting off topic – what WordPress theme do you use? It’s looking stunning.

  2. I use Ocean Mist then I uploaded the LA skyline.


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